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What She's Really Thinking..

Some order to the madness

She's Illogical
27 September 1982

This is my personal blog, an outlet for random seemingly silly and absurd thoughts, written without always adhering to the constraints of proper syntax and lexicon.
As this is a sort of place for catharsis and release, not everything here will be especially eloquent, and sometimes my sense of humor may lead me to post things not intended to be taken at face value.

The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.
-Adrienne Rich
There's nothing like living in a bottle/there's nothing like ending it all for the world...
-Cat Power

"'Cuz I'd rather be afraid and fight back than be some dick's maid, babe, or wife."
-Kathleen Hanna/Julie Ruin "I Wanna Know What Love Is"

"I'm fraudulent, a thief at best, a coward who paints a bullshit canvas of things that will never happen to me,"--Jenny Lewis, "You Are What You Love"

  • This book helps shape my life everyday.

    "Afraid is much better than a fake forever."
    Kathleen Hanna

    Faces along the bar
    Cling to their average day:
    The lights must never go out,
    The music must always play,
    All the conventions conspire
    To make this fort assume
    The furniture of home;
    Lest we should see where we are,
    Lost in a haunted wood,
    Children afraid of the night
    Who have never been happy or good.

    -WH Auden

    "I've never loved anybody fully/I always got one foot on the ground."
    -Regina Spektor

    "I can't tell you exactly what I'm looking for, but I'll know it when it happens. I want to be breathless and weak, crumpled by the entrance of another person inside my soul. I want to be violated by insight."
    -Aimee Bender, "Call My Name"

  • I only defriend people if I feel my safety is being compromised.

  • I am a word junkie.

  • I discuss sexuality and gender endlessly as it pertains to my graduate school thesis and has been a lifelong obsession of mine.

  • All of the strong and rewarding relationships in my life tend to be with women so I often am very female centered, though I respect the male gender as well.

    ........this is my vulnerable place..........

    Abhorrent Drifter-Reaping Investigator-Eating Nightmare from the Ninth Earth

    generated by sloganizer.net

  • I am ever changing, ever evolving, ever shedding my former selves. yet somehow always the same.

    Comments on Me:
    "i just had to say,that you are my favorite livejournaler ever. so what that its not nice to pick favorites. i'm not nice. i don't care. i never understood what an "empowered woman" was until i started reading your journal. you are tough, you don't need a man, you don't need women who need men, you write more about your career than whining about men. i've NEVER heard you whine about men, actually. you rid your journal of testosterone, etc.

    you fucking rock.

    i love you.

    that is all.


    "Someday you're going to get hit on by someone you actually want to be hit on by. Then shortly thereafter the world will implode."
    - unkyjar

    Writings of Aimee Bender

  • academic research, adrian tomine, adrienne eisen, adrienne rich, aimee bender, aimee mann, alex james, almodovar, am homes, amanda palmer, amélie, anais nin, angelfish, anxiety disorders, arthur nersesian, asexuality, asia argento, babes in toyland, bat for lashes, bikini kill, bisexuality, black clock, blake nelson, blur, boys kissing, bracelets, brendan benson, bright eyes, brooklyn, bust magazine, caffeine, cat power, college radio, cometbus, comic novels, creative writing programs, cunt, daniel clowes, darcey steinke, djing, dominatrixes, dorothy parker, douglas coupland, dresden dolls, erotica, eyeliner, feist, feminism, fiona apple, flight of the conchords, francesca lia block, french kitty, gale harold, glbt issues, goldfrapp, guinevere turner, heavens to betsy, herotica, high art, inga muscio, interview magazine, ivy, james cameron mitchell, james lafferty, jay mcinerney, jem, jennifer belle, jenny lewis, joan didion, joan jett, jonathan lethem, jonathan rhys meyer, journalism, joy division, julian barnes, juliana hatfield, julie ruin, kate braverman, kate christensen, kathleen hanna, ladytron, lauren lee smith, le tigre, leona naess, lisa cholodenko, liz phair, lush, lynda barry, malajube, manhattan, marion cotillard, mary gaitskill, mary janes, mary timony, mfa programs, mia kirshner, michael ian black, michelle tea, miranda july, music journalism, new order, new york dolls, nina nastasia, of montreal, pagan kennedy, pansexuality, paper magazine, parker posey, patti rothberg, pj harvey, poe, public transportation, queer as folk, radiohead, rebecca miller, regina spektor, rick moody, rilo kiley, ryan gosling, sarah schulman, scanners, sex and the city, short bus, singing, six feet under, slant 6, sleater-kinney, sneaker pimps, sylvia plath, tama janowitz, team dresch, tegan and sara, the bangs, the dears, the distillers, the kills, the knife, the l word, the sopranos, the sounds, the stars, the von bondies, the white stripes, thomas gibson, tim burton, toys in babeland, tribe 8, united states of tara, weeds, writing